There’s No Place Like Home
Where and what is home? I've been giving this a lot of thought recently.
In 2008 I moved away from home (albeit after half a years travel), to the other end of Denmark, to Aarhus.
Growing up, home was the house of my parents, but why? I imagine it was because I saw it as a refuge. I was bullied hard in school, but when I was home, I was safe. And it meant I bonded strongly with the house. When my parents divorced, I had to move out, and it was tough, I loved that house.
Since then, calling anything home has been hard, very hard indeed. I lived a few years with my mother in Denmark, before I moved to Spain; and that house was nice, but it was never a shelter, I always felt exposed. Same at boarding school (1 year), I never found peace, moving from room to room, sharing rooms with people, that I didn't always get on with. My fathers house was constantly filled with people, my step siblings and their friends (one of whom I loathed, who was always there), not to mention that I never really lived there.
So my mother moved to Spain, and I joined her. The house was nice, very cold, but it was a good place to live. But I lived far away from my school, 50 km or so. It effectively isolated me, more than my inherent lack of social skills have always done. And as for living as a geek - for what else is there when you're so isolated - the internet connection was as good as non existant, it was slower than a slug in salt, and didn't work when it rained (whenever it rained, it rained heavily) or the wind was blowing hard, or when it just plain felt like it.
But there was always a strong difference between living in the house of my parent(s). It would be somewhere that I could relax, or just do everything on a back burner. Living on my own, coming home, is a chore. And as a result, I nearly spend more time in school, there I only have to read. Spending little time at home, means my room is messy, since I'm never home long enough to properly clean, but do so only once in a while.
But now that I'm grown up (according to some people), do I need a shelter? Shouldn't I stand up to whatever happens? Yes, and I do.
But I need somewhere to lie down and just relax, somewhere to feel... Well maybe indifferent to the world around me, just for a short while. But I never feel like I get that opportunity, my "home" is primarily a bed, and the place where I keep all my junk.
So what's home? Well to me, an ideal home, is somewhere that I can breathe deeply, before I have to back to the ruthless world outside. Not necessarily instant gratification, just somewhere to relax, and forget about the worries that are always pressing. But when I get home, I still think about all the homework I still have, about all the things I haven't done, and all the things I should do. I need some peace and tranquility, but does that mean I don't have a home?
I would argue that home is wherever any person feels safe and at ease, where worries don't press. For a lot of the people I study with, that means going home to their parents. But I also know people, who feel that way when they are bicycling, sailing or any other activity that puts whatever fears or worries they have, to rest. Does that mean it's their home? Well, why does home have to be a place? Wherever these emotions occur, it would at least make me, feel at home, and it could be why we grow attached to certain places. Why some people keep returning to the same place, when there's so much world about us.
A physically restricted home? Why? A house is a place to sleep, and a place to put all our junk. If you were happier outside your house, than at your house. Would you really spend all your time at house? I'm constantly reminded of the moral of Woody Allen's latest movie, Whatever Works. It's exactly that. A home is whatever works for you, if you can get away from all the evils by rock climbing in heavy rain, then good for you, that's more than most will achieve, more than I've had for a long time.
Is there a place where I feel at home? No. I've yet to find it again, and I don't think I'll be happy till I do.
I love travelling like nothing else, but no matter where I find myself, it seems that I'm never quite there.
Where do you feel at home?
20 Questions For Every Spiritual Seeker
Reference: 20 Questions For Every Spiritual Seeker.
1. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?
It's easy to blame other people, nations and the past. But it doesn't absolve us from not helping now. But why? Nature.
We build corporations that take advantage of lesser developed areas, by using the cheap labour.
Warlords, governments and groups of people fight over control of areas or entire countries, displacing the population as well as killing them. For what? Power.
The heads of government usually installed in the developing world is corrupt, inefficient or doesn't give a damn, preferably all 3.
2. What is the relationship between science and religion?
Same as the one between right and wrong, light and dark or even good and evil. Science is right, it's the light and it's good for humanity; Religion is wrong, it's dark and it brings evil, in the way of suffering and death. I don't mind religious people per se, but looking at the history of the world, religion is the prime cause of death.
3. Why are so many people depressed?
Expectations for life that aren't fulfilled, friends that abandon us, feelings of loneliness, guilt and suffering for our next ones.
We are all led to believe that we will be rich and famous, but so few of us are, the rest of us will at some point or another feel useless.
4. What are we all so afraid of?
Living, dying. What doesn't scare us? Death is something we don't think about, we live as though we will never die. But most people are at the same time, very risk avert; so why live?
5. When is war justifiable?
When it's a defensive war, when you are defending yourself from an aggressor. There is no excuse for attacking, not even a pre-emptive strike.
6. How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism?
There is no God, and lately terrorism hos often been in his name.
But the God taught in the different holy scriptures, would never condone such tactics, but what has he been doing since... Forever? Not necessarily terrorism, but violence. All the wars etc. that have been fought in his name. His hands are stained in blood.
7. How does one obtain true peace?
There's not such thing, people will always bicker and fight. During the Spanish Civil War, one of the reason the fascists won, was the in-fighting between the different socialist groups. They even fought each other in arms, instead of fighting the fascists.
8. What does it mean to live in the present moment?
Using every day to do something different, it doesn't require you to go to Iran to experience something different, just try to shake your every day up a bit.
9. What is our greatest distraction?
The same as what gives growth to our society, greed, having more than other people.
10. Is current religion serving its purpose?
Killing innocent people? Yes.
"God would tell me, 'George (W. Bush) go and end the tyranny in Iraq,' and I did."
11. What happens to you after you die?
Nothing, life ceases.
12. Describe heaven and how to get there.
Heaven is here, during our life, when things work out, and relaxing is not an effort.
13. What is the meaning of life?
"M-hmm. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations."
14. Describe God.
Non-existant
15. What is the greatest quality humans possess?
Compassion, a few people ruin it for the rest of us, but we don't all have to be like them. The rest of us can successfully be compassionate people, that care for the people and the world around us.
16. What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential?
Themselves, act on your impulses once in a while, go crazy.
17. Non-verbally, by motion or gesture only, act out what you believe to be the current condition of the world.
Bit tricky that one...
18. What is your one wish for the world?
No religion, that way, big differences will be settled.
19. What is wisdom and how do we gain it?
Through life experiences, true knowledge can't be taught, it must be experienced.
20. Are we all one?
No, we are all individuals, capable of our own choices and decisions, no fate.
The Luckier Sex
Men are the luckier sex, not the stronger sex mind you, but the luckier.
Women are the superior sex, in nearly every aspect.
So why are men the luckier sex? That has nothing to do with the millennia of the man being the stronger sex, the dominant gender, right up until the second women's rights movement started 60's and 70's, when the balance started tipping (at least in Northern Europe), to the current situation, where men can feel discriminated (I know, I have, not directly though).
Women are more thoughtful, they care more for other people, can show their feelings and don't behave ridiculously things without questioning their nature (do I really need an example of a "guy thing"?). There's a reason women live longer, they don't drive like maniacs, they take care of themselves, in the sense that they don't live exclusively on fast food, beer and breath through cigarettes.
So why are men luckier? Well, we (I'm male, honestly) get to worship them. It's men who get to end up with women, living alongside them to old age (if we look past issues such as homosexuality, divorce and cheerless marriages).
What have girls got to look forward to? Someone to change the fuses and open those tight jars, oh yeah. Interesting conversations? Anything but binge drinking? I don't think so... Sorry.
It's not exactly a secret that I don't drink, but I really don't think I fit the male stereotype.
2009 Inauguration
One year ago today, I woke up in Montevideo, a new life, a new world and a time filled with unexpected surprises in store for me. I had no idea of what lay ahead of me, only that the immediate future was mine to decide, where I went, what I did and with whom I did it.
Today, the whole world has woken up to new life, a new world and a time filled with unexpected (but hopefully) pleasant surprises, as a man we hope is capable, has taken the helm of the most powerful nation on planet Earth.
The American people have given Obama the ultimate vote of confidence, and I hope that he can steer the US onto a better course than his predecessor, and maybe regain some respect for his nation, which has been utterly disgraced over the last 8 years.
From my economy lessons I have learned that all past decisions and costs are known as sunk costs. That means that they are irrelevant, and knowing what’s irrelevant and what isn’t, is hugely important to make the right decisions for the future.
When Obama makes decisions about Iraq, any reasoning about the invasion, and the casualties are irrelevant, what matters are the future and future costs, and what the return is on staying in Iraq. I personally believe that we should have stayed (Denmark), and so should all other nations, until the task was done. It can be compared to tearing down a shoddy house, and then abandoning the project, instead of taking the time to building a new house. The old building might have been terrible, but it provided some shelter and some stability. What has happened now is that everything goes with the wind; there is no control, no system, just havoc.
With the current focus on rebuilding the economy, my fear is that the environment will be given less attention, as it has never thus far, been given the attention it deserves, but less certainly isn’t better; the environment and education is what matters most, with health coming in shortly after. But in America those 3 sectors are famously neglected (education in America is so expensive, as the government doesn’t do much about it), but here’s the new angle, Obama has promised to do something about all 3.
I fear that the glamour around Obama will fade quickly, he made a lot of election promises and he won’t be able to keep them; a lot was said, but how much will be done?
I believe change will come, but it will come slower than we feared, and it won’t be as significant as we hoped for. Obama didn’t get as large a victory as he had hoped (which would be carrying 30 states), meaning that he has to bargain with the republicans, as the democrats alone can’t do whatever they please, despite having a majority in the senate (apparently it takes 60% to close a discussion, instead the republicans can just keep it open for eternity).
But the expectations the world have are extreme, save the environment, stop war, create peace (no war, doesn’t mean peace) and do something about the pandas while he is at it.
I suspect his presidency will be about highlighting the difference from the Bush administration, and his legacy will be his skin colour, and not his politics, of course I also hope that I will be proven wrong, that he will rise to the occasion and show the world that the US still knows how to save the day, the world and the environment.